Thank you for the good advice about recovering from my super bad attitude. It’s been a process but my ‘feel better’ began with a wonderful walk where I talked – practically out loud – to God. I wondered where he’d been for a few weeks. After all, I’ve been sitting, like a good little Zen meditator. I had been feeling the whispers of the Divine Presence but I wanted , no need more.
Slowly but surely I shed the cloak of irritants that only chafe me and stop expecting an ‘otherness’ to soothe and cure me from outlook malaise. I go inside, way inside to whittle and blow away the dust. I asked my yoga students this week to breath light into their very center, into the marrow of their bones. And it was time for me to take my own medicine.
After a massive trip to the grocery store, a retrieval of one my favorite nieces for a sleepover with my girls and a glorious sunset run through the country on Saturday, I prepared my outbuilding to sit with Amy.
The building to right of the house is a sort of a misfit of space. A hunting shack, writer’s cottage, football watching haven, quiet place to read or have a private conversation – it’s served many purposes for my family. On Sunday, it took on a new role: it became our Glorious Space. I got up at 5:15 to start the fire in the wood stove and make coffee for my friend and me.
Source: Amy, knitsimplyknit. (Thanks, for taking this)
After Amy stoked and revived the fire (in a way, she did the same for me) we were ready to sit. My fire starting experience that day reflected my outlook of late. Trying hard, doing my part, watching/waiting for the spark to take hold and warm me. I almost accepted that I just wasn’t good at this task and Amy showed up to create the above fire. She saved me from myself. And I saved us from lethargy with: Coffee waiting on a church bench. You know you want it!
Amy didn’t but she took the time take this lovely photo of my spread. See, I’m not a failure! I can’t start a fire but I can make you feel welcome and caffeinated.
And so we talked and we sat. And IT started to take hold again. That peace. That sense that Life just is. Fire in the bones – in the marrow with a little help from your friends and a plump zafu.
A much better outlook began to take hold. I’m still working on strengthening it’s roots. After all, I must really believe in myself when I run this half marathon in 6 days. It’s my 7th one but with much less time on my legs than in any other training period. At least my bones will be warm.
Next up: Koan.
Did you light a fire this weekend? Any kind?!? I sure hope so.